For Tim

About seven years ago I was in the middle of a college crisis. I had finished two years of school without knowing what in the world I was doing there, and didn´t have any particular desire to wrap up the other two. So, after spending a year in Oakland with Mission Year I decided to head out to Jordan and see what the Middle East had to offer. Needless to say it had more to offer than I was prepared to accept. I was overwhelmed in an entirely wonderful way, and spent a fantastic 8 months living, learning, and dreaming.

But, like all of life, the mesmorizing parts were divided up a great deal by the somewhat menial parts. I had many a day of thankless labor and questioned existence. One of the families that helped me get through some of the hardest parts of my time in Jordan was the Donley´s, a family of one father (my boss), one lovely mother, one somewhat senile dog, and 4 crazy boys. At a time when my own family was going through difficult times, and I was on the other side of the world, they embraced me in a way that could only be described as life-saving. I had never had younger brothers and these 4 disheveled louts were simply overflowing with energy and life. We´d stay up late playing video games, we´d wrestle in the living room and break lamps, we´d play capture the flag all night while the ¨adults¨ had their Bible study. I was 19 and on the cusp of learning what it was to be an adult myself, but in their youthfulness they taught me what it meant to be a rolemodel, a new experiene for someone who was used to simply learning from others.

Tim, the second son, was finishing up 8th grade, and when he wasn´t in school and I wasn´t repairing cracked irrigation lines, we´d shoot hoops together or go bug the nurses at the hospital. He was a good friend during a time when I had few by my side.

That was a long time ago. He has since graduated from high school and joined the marines. I was in the states when I heard he was joining up and managed to get his phone number and call him the day before he left for basic training. It had been years since we spoke, but there he was, on the other end of the line, sounding freakishly similar yet much more grown up. We only had a few minutes but I encouraged him as best I could, told him to continue pursuing life with the same intensity he had always had, and then I prayed for him and said goodbye.

This morning when I hopped on facebook I learned from his younger brother that Tim just lost both of his legs to an IED in Afghanistan.

Just like that.

He´s in a hospital right now. Suffering from a pain I´ve never known and grappling with the prospect of an entirely new life. One that he, nor I, nor anyone ever would have imagined for him.

Is God glorified in this?

Do we lift our heads and whisper through our tears, ¨God is great¨?

These are the questions that those of us who call ourselves religious have to grapple with. Yet in my pain I know that the answer is indeed, ¨Yes.¨ God IS glorified. Perhaps we may not see it now, how could we, but when the bandages come off, when the smile slowly creeps back into his life, and when Tim has the opportunity to say, ¨In spite of everything, I will choose to love.¨

That is when we will know that God is indeed very very great.


It´s a terribly long road. One that, for Tim, has begun again on an entirely different level, yet one that we all walk in one way or another. If he´s anything like I remember, in spite of everything, I imagine Tim will choose to run.

Here´s to you Tim.